Oh no. This is bad. This is really really really really bad.

It’s Sam’s birthday. Today is Sam’s birthday. FACEBOOK WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME. Today is Sam’s birthday and I completely forgot about it.

I must be the worst boyfriend ever.

What are you supposed to do if you stuff up this badly? Is there like some kind of emergency hotline terrible boyfriends can call when they realise that they need a quick fix present that looks like they spent months meticulously planning? Because there should be. I really need a hotline like that right now.

When I got home and checked my calendar and saw that fateful little event, I swear, I almost had a heart attack. After that, I sprinted into the study to start brainstorming ideas, and so far the only idea I’ve come up with is ‘buy her flowers’. Oh man oh man oh man oh man this is really not good enough.

I don’t even really know what kind of flowers she likes. I grabbed my laptop and frantically googled a couple of different florists so I could at least see what was in season, and all that came up was ‘hyacinths’. I didn’t even know what a dahlias was until I looked it up five seconds later. I don’t know much about flowers, that much should be pretty obvious by now, but I don’t think a girl would be happy with a bunch of hyacinths on her birthday.

The only other thing I could think of, which is really just an extension of the flowers idea, was to buy her some Summer flowering bulbs. That way, Sam could grow the flower herself, as a symbol of our commitment to each other? No. That’s a terrible idea. Far out why is this so difficult?