Sometimes it seems like you have too much choice…in life…woah, that’s deep. I need to write that down somewhere.

No, wait, I just did. You guys, no joke, seriously, these words are appearing on the screen as I type them. Is the computer alive and watching my fingers and printing whichever keys I press on its face? How does it do that so perfectly?

Woah, technology, am I right? Oh yeah, I had a point. So yeah, so much choice. Like, I was planning a party, and I hadn’t ever been to Melbourne. Function venues everywhere, I’m telling you, like some kind of conspiracy to plant function rooms absolutely all over the city and then party all day and night, like Melbourne is the party central of the world, or Australia at least. Maybe it is. Maybe, like, everyone just parties all day in Melbourne and its party venues and super rad function rooms, and I’ve lived my whole life in Adelaide and we just live like normal folks. I could’ve been missing out on all of that. And how would I know, anyway? I wouldn’t, basically. They’d keep it a secret, and of COURSE they’d keep it a secret because it’s super rad and they don’t want anyone to know about their party fun times. Sure is a shame, though, because I’d be SO into having some party fun times, yes sir. Maybe I’d run my own function room, called Rad Rod’s, and it’d be the raddest one around. Everyone would flock to the rad-factor, and I’d be there in the middle of it all, wearing my raddest bell-bottoms and looking darn fine.

Wow, yeah, Melbourne…they’ve been hiding so much. Now I get to go there, have my party, experience Melbourne’s party venues, which are the best around, and maybe…just maybe…they’ll let me stay.