House of Goblins

I recently visited a house of goblins in the beautiful suburb of Forgotten Springs. These goblins all live in the same home, working with intense efficiency as a team. I’ve never seen such a well-oiled machine as this one. There are fifty goblins in all, divided into five teams that rotate through different tasks. Currently, […]

Broken Glass Remorse

Okay so, an update on yesterday’s incident. In my last post I told you guys about how my mates and I had ridden into a massive glass sheet and smashed it. I was going to go in the morning and tell everyone what had happened and offer to pay for it. None of my mates […]

Don’t Like Cats

It’s honestly getting a bit embarrassing living in this apartment building, as the only resident here who doesn’t have any cats. Naturally, everybody believes that I must have lots of cats, given I live in an apartment surrounded by cat homes. It isn’t usually a problem, but recently more and more people from my work […]

Merry Little Breakdown

It’s breakdown season! Hooray. In case you can’t tell, I’m being facetious. This is kind of a running joke in my world, because my car always seems to pack it in just as the holiday season is gearing up. This has happened the past three years in a row, and it’s a problem when you […]

The Blue Rock

So, it seems I’m a Bionic Cool now. The blue one, which is cool, I guess. I didn’t realise those toys and movies were based on real life. I tell you, my fifteen cats were pretty shocked when I underwent my transformation. Hopefully, none of them got out through the window I had open. I […]

Cat-Mobile Broken

Secretly, I’ve been going out at night and fighting crime as a vigilante, like Man-Bat from those comic books. I leave my thirty-seven cats in the apartment with Ms Cranberry (she thinks I am going out to see my secret lover, but that couldn’t be further from the truth – I’m totally single). It’s been […]

Fate of Earth

I can’t believe we’re here already. This is Tybalt Way, reporting live from the race tracks of Gasmoxion, where expert mechanic Magnus Opus will race against Nitrous Dioxide for the fate of the world. My co-host, typing in italics, is the incredible Harry McGillon.   Let’s jump straight into this one. Two racers. One winner. […]

Orange is the New Car

You’ve been behind the same car for over twenty minutes now. Out here on these long country roads, that’s hardly unheard of – it’s not as though there are that many places to turn off, unless you live on one of these stations or are going to see a man about a sheep. Still, you […]

Beige Against the Machine

There’s a powerful charm to neutral colour schemes, which often goes unappreciated by more brash types than myself. In fact, it seems it’s a select few who can truly appreciate the regal radiance of a classic beige, or the subtlety and depth of perfectly mixed off-white. I’m forever having to fight colleagues on this, fending […]

Spreading Rumours

I can’t believe what Mrs Anderson has been saying about me! She has been spreading rumours that I love Tinkerbell, my new tabby cat, more than all the other cats in my apartment. Why it’s preposterous, I tell you. I love all of my little fuzz balls equally. But now everybody in this apartment block […]