What this place needs is more cats. Not more real cats, although I wouldn’t say no to those. No, I think there really need to be more cat-related decorations. Cats over the entrance, cat statues in the gardens, cat-themed wallpaper, cat-themed carpets…anything with cats, we’ll take it. Maybe we can turn this club into something that really nails its colours to the mast, you know?

I founded and owned one of Melbourne’s property styling companies back in the day, I’ll have you know. One of the first of its kind, maybe! At least, there weren’t any others in the suburb at the time, so I feel like we were one of the first. We were experts at selling properties, and cats were my secret weapon even though many just didn’t understand when I suggested. Cat wallpaper in the living room? It sounds crazy, but it’s a simple change and it worked, probably! It just breathes life into a home, and if someone is coming to view it, then they can tell. They really can tell, you know. Cats. Everything must be cats!

It’s lovely to be living at the Club with some likeminded folks, but at some point people are going to start leaving. They have to move for work, they’ll go to get married or have a family, or maybe they’ll just die. Erline is getting a bit over the hill. Dorothy is definitely going to be the next to croak. Then people will want to move in, and no doubt the Club will be hunting for my expertise in property styling. Just you wait, I’m expecting the knock on the door any day now! I’m always going along to the communal breakfasts and discussing my ideas, so at some point, Catrina is going to recognise my genius. Property staging is in my blood, you see…and I’ll deck this place out the moment I receive the get-go!

-Linda