Don’t Like Cats

It’s honestly getting a bit embarrassing living in this apartment building, as the only resident here who doesn’t have any cats. Naturally, everybody believes that I must have lots of cats, given I live in an apartment surrounded by cat homes. It isn’t usually a problem, but recently more and more people from my work have been walking past the building, given the rerouted trains across Melbourne. I like to start my day with the windows open, letting the sunlight in, which unfortunately allows my coworkers to see inside. Now they’re calling me Cat Man at work, asking how many cats I have and what type they are. But I don’t have any cats! I don’t even like cats!

I wish I could get office tinting for my apartment. That would be really helpful in this situation. We got the windows tinted at work, but that has actually made my current problem worse, as now everyone assumes that I’m hiding even more cats in my personal office. I keep telling them that I don’t have any cats, but they don’t believe me! It’s so frustrating.

As a prank the other day, Jimmy ordered this decorative window film for Melbourne offices and had it delivered to my house. The window installation man arrived with a massive glass film depicting a cat, fitting perfectly for my front window. Jimmy, I don’t want a decorative window with a cat on it, because I don’t like cats. This whole thing is getting out of hand. I’d bring it up with HR, but they’re making fun of me too!

Perhaps it would be best if I moved out of the apartment. Maybe I can find a building with people who love dogs. I could probably live with that. Dogs are cool. Then again, maybe I’d rather just live in a normal building without any weird gimmicks. No ways to make fun of me. That would be quite nice, actually.