Sassafrass Kittenson is getting restless. That doesn’t take very much, mind you; he’s a restless soul in general, which is why a good half of my apartment is dedicated to keeping him happy. He’s a very loving soul half the time, but the other half? All energy, like some sort of kitty version of a collie. A collie crossed with a beagle, in cat form, that’s what Sassafrass Kittenson is. A few of the other members of the Club have already expressed some discomfort at the thought of letting him roam the halls, on account of his rough style of play. I know Mrs Merriweather in number 62 gives me daggers at breakfast every morning, after the…incident.

Kittenson is just an explorer; an adventurer. To keep him happy, I had to buy an entire set of folding platform steps, set them up as best as I could in my apartment and constantly switch them around so there’s a different forest of metal to play in. I know when he gets bored, because he starts caterwauling in the middle of the night. Not that it’s disturbing anyone- not since we moved here- but I know exactly what he’s wailing about. He’s just a growing cat who needs some intense stimulation. One time I decided…stuff it. I’m just going to set up the current climbing frame and he can learn to live with it. Two days later he was reported to be downtown in a construction site, climbing all over the mobile aluminium scaffolding like some kind of urban monkey. Had to explain that one to the foreman, and later the police, and several representatives from animal rights groups who caught wind of it on social media.

This is why I think the club needs a dedicated cat amusement area, one where they can play to their heart’s content. They’ll always be coming and going, so that should provide enough stimulation for S. Kittenson. I’ll even set it up! I mean, I know my way around custom design platforms…and it’ll free up a lot of space. For me.

-Ryan